Gifts for Friends: Is it the thought that counts?

Many Decembers ago, as I was visiting a busy friend, a horrified look came over her face and she told me she’d forgotten to buy me a Christmas present. We were in her kitchen at the time and she was making preparations for a Christmas dinner she was going to cook for 26 people. No, you didn’t read that wrong, it actually was 26 people. A few hours later, she presented me with a wrapped gift that turned out to be A Daily Calendar of Calm. I think someone had tried to give her calm for Christmas and had failed, but she pulled off a wonderful Christmas dinner with it in short supply.

Aside from the usefulness of having a neutral, wrapped gift tucked away for the kind of emergencies that happen to us all, what struck me about this event is how often what we give a friend is bath oil, a bracelet or a scarf. And what we’d really like to give her are more hours in the day, an appreciative boss and the ability to love her thighs.

Gifts for Friends

One birthday, I watched a hostess unwrap the books, Women Who Love Too Much, Loving Him Without Losing Yourself, and Men Who Hate the Woman Who Love Them in succession. Each gift had been from a different guest and there was a small silence before someone’s partner said:

“Hmm, I think there’s a theme developing here..”

Then there was another small silence before the birthday lady was simultaneously offered more white wine, a filo spinach roll and a non-book shaped gift that turned out to be a rather attractive teapot. The thought can be loud and clear but there are times in our lives we’d rather have the teapot. And the wine.

So I’m not someone who thinks it’s only the thought that counts.  I’d like it to be both. The thought that says, I know you, I value you, and the carefully wrapped, handmade original things of beauty that we’d never have found or bought for ourselves.  Something that carries that thought and communicates it every time we use it.

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In the spirit of offering both the loving wishes and an original object of beauty, I highly recommend these candles.  They each have meaning and are embedded with semi-precious stones. My customers have been reporting back that recipients are delighted by them and there are few things more delightful than delighting a friend.

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Just this weekend, you can get 20% off crystal cubes

by using the order code GIFT15.

Offer ends: 7pm on 07/12/15.

When Did You Last Dine by Candlelight?

Not counting meals in restaurants, when did you last light a candle at your own dinner table? Most of us only think of doing so whilst attempting seduction. This is a shame because, although there are many things you probably shouldn’t attempt by candlelight (reading small print, sharing really scary ghost stories, the plumbing), dining isn’t one of them.

Dining by candlelight

Here’s how to indulge more often:

  • Don’t restrict yourself to dining à deux.  Experiment!  Have a candle-lit meal with a friend, or a bunch of friends, or see your family in a different light. And what about when you eat alone? Instead of a late night snack by the light of fridge, sit down and light a candle. You’ll eat more slowly, enjoy your own company, and stop once you’ve had enough.
  • Unscented is unsurpassed.  Scented candles will confuse your palette and dim your appetite, whereas letting the food provide the fragrance maximises your enjoyment. The only exception might be kitchen candles that smell naturally of citrus, spices or herbs and complement your dishes.
  • Candlelight makes everything look better. That includes food, glassware, cutlery and people. It’s lovely to pull out all the stops for a special event, but when you have guests at two hours’ notice and it’s already been a long day, just light the candles. They’ll change your mood, throw a new light on the room and flatter everything, including you.
  • Try candles at breakfast.  At this time of year many of us get up in half-light if not actual darkness. Morning rituals can include a mindless breakfast rushed down by the light of a mobile phone, or else a sparse standing one as you orchestrate everyone else’s. Try taking an extra 10 minutes, make something hot and fuel up by candlelight – it’s a much gentler preparation for going out into a cold morning. If you work from home, whether it’s with a laptop or a series of domestic appliances, you can indulge yourself without the clock-watching.Copper lanterns on a dining table
  • There’s a reason taper candles are known as dinner candles.  Being tall and slender, tapers are ideal for shedding light over your table, though it’s useful to check sight lines so that diners can see each other. If you’re planning a Halloween event and want people to mistake the burrata for monsters’ eyeballs, by all means use just one tealight. Otherwise, if you love tealights. do use them, but bear in mind you’ll need to use at least twice as many as you would tapers. The white porcelain tealight holders (pictured above) go with a variety of schemes and the copper mini box lanterns are just stunning. 
  • We are like moths to flames.  It’s innate in us to gather around fire, it’s not just the light, it’s the movement; the way it dances. It draws us together and helps us to forge connections. It creates an intimacy that makes conversations more real, more reflective and more relaxed. Give it a go because it’s probably been too long since you last ate by candlelight. Plus, it makes you look gorgeous (so don’t rule out attempting seduction).

An Anatomy Lesson

How many parts of a candle can you name? I’ve been asking that question of random people for the last few days. Most of them name the wick and then dry up. The delivery man looked at me with a blankness that was tinged with suspicion, but if you’re a candle connoisseur you can probably already describe a melt pool or a scent throw.

Annotated drawing of a candle

the naming of the parts

Clockwise from the top:

  • Scent throw:  The fragrance emitted by a candle. It includes the strength of the fragrance and the effectiveness with which the candle ‘throws’ the scent around a room. Natural fragrances are as strong as synthetic ones when the candle is under your nose, but are less likely to make it down the corridor.  A ‘cold throw’ is how the fragrance is described when the candle isn’t lit and a ‘hot throw’ is what it emits when it’s… hot.
  • Hang-up: Part of the wax that’s sticking up and hasn’t melted. More commonly used when wax is left stuck to the sides of container candles.
  • Wick:  This is the one everyone knows (except possibly the delivery man). Usually cotton, paper or wood.
  • Gutter:  A ridge caused by wax running down the side of a candle.
  • Jump lines:  Small horizontal lines on a candle, also known as “skip lines”. Caused by pouring cooling wax into a cold mould so that the wax starts to set during the pour.
  • Core:  The central section of a candle. Factory-made candles often have a core made from a different kind of wax to the rest of the candle (but dyed to look the same).  Some ‘soy’ candles have a mineral (paraffin) core because mineral wax burns more easily and is easier to wick.
  • Bloom: Uneven surface caused when oils in beeswax migrate to the surface and crystallise there. This also happens with soy wax, though crystals on soy are more commonly referred to as ‘frosting’. Either can be removed by wiping with a soft cloth. Neither are to be confused with a deliberate rustic look caused by a candle maker cold pouring.
  • Melt Pool:  the puddle of liquid wax that is drawn up the wick as the candle burns.

So, how did you do?